Contributor Programme

 

Payments

1. One month legitimate Rapidshare account for 100 approved jokes.
2. Payment done after all the 100 jokes have been approved.
3. Time taken for approval is related to amount of jokes submitted (also by other contributors).

What type of jokes to submit?

1. Jokes already present on the BFE blog will not be accepted.
2. Jokes circulating via forwarded emails are encouraged.
3. Chain letters should not be submitted.
4. All jokes submitted must have an appropriate title.
5. The jokes submitted should not be explicitly sexual. Those containing acceptable sexual content may be accepted upon decision of management staff.
6. Jokes pertaining to racism and religion are prohibited.
7. The management staff of BFE has the right to refuse the approval of any joke without any reason.
8. The decision of the management staff is final and non-negotiable.

How to participate in the BFE Contributor programme?

1. Contact the management staff.
2. The management staff will confirm if you are eligible for this programme and will give you a username, eg. yourname_jokes. Each joke you submit should have that code. Eg, your first submission will be yourname_jokes_1. This code is used to track your submitted jokes for payment. Do not forget to add a title to your jokes.
3. The jokes can be sent via email to the address specified by the management team.

Disclaimer

1. All Rapidshare accounts given away are legitimate.
2. The Management Staff of BFE reserves the right to discontinue the Contributor Programme without any prior notice.

To register, send us your email address here.
Regards
Management Team.

Pray or sleep

Two men arrive at the Pearly Gates at about the same time, both wanting to know if they will be admitted to heaven. St. Peter asks the first man his name, where he is from, and what he did in life.

The man answers that he is John Smith and that he was a taxi driver in New York City.

St. Peter looks through his book, then gives the man a luxurious silken robe and a golden staff, and bids him welcome into heaven for his eternal reward.

A Cat in Heaven

A cat shows up at the Pearly gates of heaven.

St. Peter says, "I know you! You were a very nice cat on earth and didn't cause any trouble, so I want to offer a gift to you of one special thing you have always wanted."

Cat: "Well, I did always long to own a nice satin pillow like my master had, so I could lie on it."

St. Peter: "That's easy. Granted. You shall have the satin pillow after you enter in."

Next a group of mice appeared.

St. Peter: "Ah, I remember you! You were such good mice on earth. You didn't steal food from anyone's house and never hurt other animals. Therefore, I want to grant you one special wish you always wanted."

The Chief Mouse replied, "Well, we always watched the children playing and saw them roller skate. It was beautiful and it looked like so much fun. So can we each have some roller skates, please?"

St. Peter: "Granted. You shall have your wish."

Next day, St. Peter is making rounds inside the Gates and sees the cat.

"Well, Cat...did you enjoy the satin pillow?"

Cat: "Oh, indeed I did. And say....that "Meals-on-Wheels" thing was a nice touch, too!"

The Guy And His Ostrich

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.

The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender."Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich. "That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!""That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

"That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! ... Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs."

Chicken Joke

Two stupid chickens are on opposite sides of the road.
Chicken 1: "How do I get to the other side?!!"
Chicken 2: "You are on the other side!"

Just what every girl need for her dolls

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Women

10. I think of you as a brother... (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")


9. There's a slight difference in our ages... (I don't want to do my dad)


8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way... (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)


7. My life is too complicated right now... (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)


6. I've got a boyfriend... (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's)..


5. I don't date men where I work... (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)


4. It's not you, it's me... (It's you.)


3. I'm concentrating on my career... (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)


2. I'm celibate... (I've sworn off only the men like you.)

and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it really means)


1. Let's be friends... (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.)

More Jokes 

Taxi driver losing control of car

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years".