Popsicle maker

Three guys die and go to hell. When they arrive the devil informs them that he is going to remove their penises.

“Oh, how are you going to do it,” asks one of the guys.

“Whatever your fathers jobs were, that’s how I’ll remove them,” says the devil.

So he calls over the first guy, “Your father was a lumberjack… So I’ll cut it off with a saw.”

To the second guy he says, “Your father was a blacksmith… So I’m going to burn it off.”

As he calls the third guy over he notices he’s smiling.

“Why are you smiling, you just watched me remove your friends` penises,” says the devil.

“I know,” replies the man, “but my father was a popsicle maker.”

Ageing

Tina asks Bill, "Will you love me when I'm old and graying?"

Bill replies, "Just love you? I shall admire you. I shall worship the very ground that you walk on. I shall...", then asks hesitantly, "you're not going to look like your mother, are you?"

Sin?

The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

"What is it, child?"

The girl said, "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."

The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."