Is it Male or Female?

Is it Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples...

FREEZER BAGS
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS
These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.

They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TIRES
Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS
Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS
Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

HOURGLASS
An hourglass is female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS
Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying...

The big list of fun stuff to do in that boring ol' courtroom of law...

1. Bring a cell phone and order a pizza when the judge starts talking.

2. Bring a zip-lock bag full of grapes and launch a few at the defendant when the judge isn't looking.

3. Giggle uncontrollably when they show the evidence, if any blood is present.

4. If they ever bring up the possibility of an accomplice, duck your head and quiver.

5. Stand up and yell "OBJECTION!" to everything the judge says. EVERYTHING.

6. If you're the defendant, wait until the judge starts talking about you. Proceed to hide under your table.

7. If anybody attempts to communicate with you in any way, stare off into space and blow spit bubbles.

8. Sing "The Song That Never Ends" incessantly.

9. Get the judge to look at you. Lick your lips and motion that you'll "call him."

10. Actually call him.

Questions

Banta and and son went fishing one day. Sitting in the boat for a couple of hours gave them not much to do, so the son started thinking about the world around him. He began to get curious so he asked his father some questions.

“How does this boat float?”

Banta thought for a moment, then replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

The boy returned to his contemplation, but soon came up with another one, “How do fish breath underwater?”

Once again Banta replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

A little later the boy asked Banta, “Why is the sky blue?”

Again, Banta replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

Worried he was going to annoy his father, he said, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?”

Banta immediately assured him, “Of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions, you’ll never learn anything!”

Bon appétit!

Mr. Singh from India who was touring the United States, decided to take a cruise. He found himself seated in front of a Frenchman in the ship's dining room. Mr. Singh could speak neither French nor English, and the French guy had no knowledge of Hindi or Punjabi languages.

The Frenchman bowed and said, "Bon appétit!"

Mr. Singh was confused, but he bowed back and replied "Singh."

For the next couple of days, the same routine followed at every meal.

One day, a fellow passenger took Mr. Singh aside and said to him, "Listen, the Frenchman is not telling you his name. When he says 'Bon appétit!', it simply means 'Good Appetite'."

During the next meal, a confident Mr. Singh, bowed to the Frenchman and said, "Bon appétit!".

And the Frenchman, smiling back, replied: "Singh!"

Fourth of July joke

When Marco Polo first opened the trade routes to China, he was quite impressed with their rockets. Now, these weren't quite the fireworks we now know, but they did shoot into the air, explode and make some pretty patterns. Strangely, no matter where he went, there were people who made fireworks, but he had trouble finding someone to demonstrate them for him.

"Not here!" they said. A confused Marco Polo came upon an ancient military fortification at the community of Chu'Lai. Here, fireworks were launched every night, and Marco was very impressed!

But still he wondered, "Why here?" At the end of every week, people came from great distances, bringing their own fireworks to launch. So Marco Polo asked his guide why everyone came here to launch their fireworks.

Marc's guide replied: "Why honored Sir, we always set off fireworks on the Forts of Chu'Lai"

Check Your Eyesight While Working On Your Computer

small test to check eyesight yourself. Hope it will work.

please follow the guide.    

   
1.   First close one of your eye .   
2.   Move your mouse point at the  red *.    
3.   Right click at the red *.  
4.  Then go (select all).  
5.  Then u'll see the result.

*  Stupid!

People ask you to do something and u do it without applying your mind ;)

YOur eye sight is allright,But YoUr Mind has gOt Problem hehehehe   .. Ha..HA..HA.. !!!

  NOW ENOUGH...GO BACK TO UR WORK   ...

 I am also a VICTIM of this   ..

 If u r angry THEN SEND IT TO YOUR BEST FRIEND

World's Most Expensive Cell Phone

 

“GoldVish ‘Le Million’ Piece Unique” is the most expensive cell phone certified by Guinness World Records on 29-Jan-2008. The phone is made of 18k white gold and set with 20 carats of VVS1 diamonds. This phone has Bluetooth, 2 GB of storage, FM radio, a digital camera and MP3 playback features.

The Guinness-backed world’s most expensive cell phone is available only by special order. And it costs only $1.3 million! What do think about this cell phone? Do you like it?

Is Spelling Important?

I'm one of the 55. Are You?

Don't even think about using spell check!!!!!!!!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghi t pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

ONLY FORWARD IF YOU CAN READ IT