Mrs. Cooper's 101st Birthday

Mary called her old friend, Mrs. Cooper on her 101st birthday to ask how she planned to celebrate her big day.

Mrs. Cooper replied cheerfully, "My children will be coming to stay with me for the weekend."

Mary said, "I am sure you are looking forward to that."

“Of course,” Mrs. Cooper replied, "but it's a lot of work, cleaning and dusting, making up their beds.”

Mary said, “Why don't you let the children do it when they are arrive?"

"Oh no, I couldn't do that,” Mrs. Cooper replied, "they're all in their in their 80s!”

Birthday

Every morning a man passes a house in his street and every morning he sees a woman in her front garden beating her husband over the head with a French loaf.

This goes on for months until one morning he passes the house and sees the woman is beating her husband
with a large éclair. Later that day he meets the woman in the street.

‘Aren’t you the woman who beats her husband with a French loaf?’ asks the man.

‘Only, today, I could have sworn you were hitting him with a big cake.’

‘Oh, I was,’ replies the woman. ‘Today is his birthday.’