Violin jokes

Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?
A: The bow is moving.

Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
A: Sit in the back and don't play.

Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.

Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola?
A: A viola burns longer.

Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?
A: It is usually still in the case.

Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Q: Which is smaller, a violin or a viola?
A: They are actually the same size, but a violinist's head is so much bigger.

Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?
A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.

Q: How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
A: Put it in a viola case.

Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek?
A: Because no one will look for them.

Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?
A: Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.